Stands A Barrow, session #1: "Man, fuck Elves"

ROSTER 

Harald Svensen, fighter (Nathan) 

Rollo the Unpredictable, changeling bard (Francis)

Edward, fighter (Jack)

Artorius the Wise, magic-user (Logan)

 

 

Yesterday, four men walked to the ancient hillfort in the barren moors outside Tofeceaster, and a few hours later, three men and a corpse returned. In the raucous party around Harald Svensen’s funeral pyre, the survivors got absolutely wasted (to the point some of them now owe the Thieves’ Guild the cost of their bar tab…) and blabbed about the following:

The party consisted of two fighters (one Saxon, one Dane), a Saxon magic-user, and a Changeling bard. After briefly considering a visit to the wizard tower atop the barrow, they searched around instead and found two ways in: a hole opening onto a yawning black abyss (which they didn’t have the rope for) and the top of a buried tower.

Players love vandalism.

Down the tower, a wolf was almost bribed with cheese, then driven off. After debating who would go first (the unarmoured magic-user Artorius had to step up as the brave one to open doors), the party followed the wolf down a hallway, then left the battlements for a huge throne room. A shadowy figure tried and failed to hide, revealing itself as a rather large goblin named Bört, who agreed to help tear down the tapestries hanging in the room in exchange for the cut of the loot. At this point Edward (I think) also stripped the throne of all its gold filigree. 

After parting ways with Bört, the party found some goblins at a huge round table gambling, with a chest in tow. Rollo the Changeling was sent in to use his powers of bad luck, but the goblin leader caught him cheating and only spared him on a technicality (cheating is allowed in goblin dice, but no one explained to Rollo that magic cheating isn’t). When Rollo played a real game, he narrowly lost, so the rest of the party (who had been hiding while the changeling dealt with his fellow fae) attacked instead. Without a shield to protect himself Harald took a critical hit, losing an arm, but rather than try to stop the bleeding he gave his life to kill the final goblin, moments after Artorius blasted the leader with a magic missile. The party gathered around to hear his last words: “man, fuck elves.”

Then Edward stripped all the gold off the fanciest seat in that room, too.

The last thing that went through Yoblo the gamblin' goblin's head was a magic missile.

 

The party returned, chest and corpse in tow, and threw the biggest funeral Svensson’s Mead Hall has seen in years. I wasn’t kidding about the Thieves’ Guild. Artorius owes them big time now, and has a hangover that’s gonna fuck up all his spells next adventure.

(And all that in just an hour and a half, including character creation!)

ONGOING ROLL OF THE DEAD

Harald Svensen (Nathan)